paintings

2000-2005

These pieces were painted in Banff, between 2002 and 2005.  I wasn’t making art yet.

Then…I came down with a sudden and brutal form of chronic fatigue.  For weeks at a time I lost the ability to speak, read, or think in text.  Even cartoons were usually to complex for me to parse out.  My hands and feet went numb and it was difficult to walk.  As is usual with long-term, non-lethal chronic conditions, I lost my job, and then most of my friends. 

As I recovered, I started painting.

I’m not entirely sure what to think of these, because they are completely linked in my mind with this time.  They were secret, and personal, varying in scale between 24″ square to 5′ panels, painted in oils or acrylic.

One clear image from this time:
working on the floor of the living room.  We lived in a huge apartment owned by the Whyte Museum on the Buffalo block.  Looking up from the couch, realizing there was a long blue stripe of fresh paint along the wall.A long-haired white cat had crawled in through the window.  It was watching me steadily, and neither of us had noticed he’d dipped his tail in a bucket of blue paint. He got up, stretched, and began to rub himself against the walls. 

I picked it up, headed for the bathroom, where I dropped him in my tub.  He flattened and fled in a mad wet streak of blue out onto the roofs of Banff Avenue’s souvenir stores. I never saw him again, but wondered what the owners made of their drenched, blue-tinted cat when it finally made it back home.  Still… in a town where small pets were referred to as cougar-bait sodden blue but alive couldn’t have been so bad. 

Other people have exciting reasons for losing track of their 20’s. But for years, and in the mountains, I barely shuffled in a sea of impressions without name.  I lost any sense of existing as an individual entity.  No one ever saw these paintings, I still have a couple, I sold one to a friend, and the rest were probably trashed when I moved East to re-start my life.